There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
