Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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