Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
