I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
