She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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