What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
