Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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