we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
