Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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