i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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