This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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