i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
