I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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