her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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