i used baking grease as lip gloss
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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