she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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