dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
