first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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