I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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