you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
