Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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