my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
