He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
