I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
