just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
