Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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