so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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