i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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