Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
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Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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