is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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