She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My vagina just clenched in fear
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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