yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
