i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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