Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
