check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
