im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
