you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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