At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
