my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
