He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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