About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
