Will you blow on my dice?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
