the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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