Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
