i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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