pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
