Me too!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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