hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
