good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
