Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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