take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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