fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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