We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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