well I can't set my house on fire every night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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