If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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