Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ttyl tear gas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
