i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
