we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
