3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
