I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm always down for nudity.
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